8 minutes reading time
(1618 words)
Sadistic hospital letter detailing “execution” of elderly mum sent to grieving daughter
I met former international financier Carol Harmer when she joined the support group I set up whilst making the film 'A Good Death?' with Ickonic Media. Like hundreds of others, she told me the story of how her healthy 84-year-old mother was euthanised in hospital three years ago. This is her story:
"On June 11th 2020, my mum Maureen was at home, happily cooking bread pudding when my sister Sue phoned her.
During the course of the conversation, Mum said she was feeling a bit lightheaded and dizzy, which was unusual. Mum was 84 years old and as fit as a flea with a razor sharp mind.
My sister Sue said she would call for an ambulance then left to drive to Mum's house which was over an hour away. (My sister lives in Maidstone in Kent and my Mum in Hastings, Sussex.)
Sue got to her before the ambulance and Mum said she felt better. They had a couple of cigarettes on Mum's little terrace before the ambulance turned up and the paramedics examined her. They decided it'd be best for Mum to go into hospital and be checked over. Mum hated the NHS with a passion. She hadn't had any dealings with them since 1964 when she had problems during a pregnancy. She'd been taken to St Alfege's Hospital in Greenwich on Christmas Eve and was put in an open ward. The staff were at a Christmas party and were drunk, and my Mum gave birth to my baby brother, who died after an hour. She was all alone. When the day staff came on duty and found my Mum cradling her dead baby, all hell broke loose. My Mum was never the same after that.
So on that day in June 2020, because Mum was so anxious about having to go to hospital, Sue followed the ambulance to the Conquest hospital in Hastings and was made to wait in the car park for five hours (because of Covid restrictions) while they assessed Mum. By that time, my other sister Tracy and my brother Lee had arrived. They were eventually allowed in for five minutes. Afterwards, they told me on the phone that Mum looked a bit spaced out but put it down to the trauma of being in hospital.
At this time, I was trapped in Spain (where I was – and still am – living) due to a draconian lockdown. It was hellish not being able to fly back to be with my family but there were no flights out of the country so I couldn't get to them.
A scan revealed a small tear in Mum's heart. It was operable though, so the doctors said she would be transferred to another hospital for surgery.
After four hours waiting in the car park, they were called into the doctor's office. As they walked through the hospital, they noticed how quiet it was – all cordoned off, no one in A&E, empty wards, hardly any staff about… They were then told that Mum would not be operated on, saying she wouldn't make it through the surgery because she was dying.
This was a huge shock to us all. Mum had been walking and talking eight hours earlier. How could she be dying? When they suggested that Mum should be "made comfortable", we all agreed. I had no idea back then what that euphemism meant. I know now.
When my sisters and brother saw Mum, they could see she was heavily sedated: she couldn't speak or move and her eyes were closed. After a few minutes, they were asked by a nurse to leave. They noticed before they left, however, that there were three patients in a 30-bed ward.
Four hours later, my siblings were called back to the hospital. Mum had clearly deteriorated. Her skin was a strange translucent grey and her breathing was so shallow it was barely audible. My sister Sue fled the ward and sobbed in the corridor. Tracy lay on the bed with Mum, speaking softly to her. After ten minutes they were asked to leave again. They braced themselves for the 90-minute journey home. Then, just as they were leaving, the doctors said they wanted to move Mum to a care home. None of us wanted that – we'd heard that elderly people were dropping like flies in care homes – and Tracy threatened them with legal action if they dared to move her.
That night, Tracy was so upset she could barely speak so I called the hospital ward from Spain and demanded to know what drugs they were giving our mother. Because I wasn't named on Mum's medical notes, however, they refused to give me any information. I already knew about end of life drugs – Midazolam in particular – and wanted to make sure Mum wasn't being given them.
During the night, Tracy was phoned twice to ask if she wanted to come in to say goodbye. Tracy is physically disabled and can't drive and Sue and Lee were so traumatised by seeing Mum in such a terrible state the previous evening that they couldn't bear to go back to the hospital.
My Mum died alone at 6.55pm on the 12th June 2020.
I immediately put in a Freedom Of Information request and a request for a copy of the MAR (drug chart) because I knew something wasn't right. It took months of emails and phone calls but finally I got the documents I wanted. A five-page letter, sent to me and signed by the East Sussex Healthcare trust's Chief Executive Mrs. Joe Chadwick-Bell, provided the names of the doctors and nurses involved in my mother's care. The letter clearly set out how much Midalzolam and morphine was given – 25 milligrams in total – and at what times. It turned out that Mum, who'd never so much as taken an aspirin before, was given both drugs before they told my sisters and brother that she was not going to be operated on, then larger doses were given, and finally a syringe driver was fitted. The letter – written on 23rd September 2021, over 15 months after her death – and sent in October was extremely graphic and described my lovely Mum's final moments in horrifying detail. What happened to her can only be described as an execution. The letter said how she'd turned purple, gasped for breath and tried to escape. Of COURSE she'd tried to escape: she knew what they were doing to her! That sadistic letter felt like a deliberate twist of the knife and I believe it was designed to deliberately hurt me because I'd hounded them daily for months on end.
I made an official complaint to the hospital.
But it was the Conquest Hospital investigating the Conquest Hospital and the whole investigation was a sham. They lied at every turn. I was eventually told that the matter was closed and that, if I wanted to, I could appeal to the Ombudsman. I tried. They didn't reply. The whole thing has ripped my family apart. We barely talk now. Tracy has turned to drink as she feels so guilty for leaving Mum in the hospital. My brother has tried to take his own life three times in the last three years.
Although I was heartbroken that I couldn't be with Mum at the end of her life, in a way it's lucky I wasn't because I really don't now how I'd have reacted. If I'd been there, I'm sure I would be in a UK prison by now. I wish I could let it go but I can't: it consumes me. I was her eldest child… I'm the strong one, so I have to fight for her – and I will – but I have not had an unbroken night's sleep since 12th June 2020.
Imagining her final hours – thinking about how scared and alone she must have felt – haunts me. I read the nasty letter from Mrs. Joe Chadwick-Bell every now and again to revive my thirst for justice….
I've been told to leave it – that making a fuss won't bring Mum back – but I won't give up. My mum's story needs to be shared everywhere. This evil end of life directive – which I've since discovered was called NG163 and later re-named NG191 – is still alive and kicking, still being implemented and needs to be stopped. It's a protocol of murder. My mum was killed in cold blood in a hospital bed and nothing is being done about it.
I contacted Hastings police station as soon as I had confirmation that Midazolam and morphine had been given to Mum – that was in October 2021. They didn't want to know. In fact, they put the phone down on me the first time, so I rang back and was told in no uncertain terms that they really were very busy and that there was no evidence of any murder of the elderly by these drugs. GB News didnt reply. Talk Radio didnt reply. UK Column News didnt reply. Many other news outlets and TV stations too. Zero interest.
I believe the same has happened to thousands of others over the last few years and it will continue to happen until the families affected speak out or the perpetrators of this most heinous of crimes own up. I am currently trying to find a lawyer who'll take on my case. I'm determined to get justice for Mum if it's the last thing I do."
"On June 11th 2020, my mum Maureen was at home, happily cooking bread pudding when my sister Sue phoned her.
During the course of the conversation, Mum said she was feeling a bit lightheaded and dizzy, which was unusual. Mum was 84 years old and as fit as a flea with a razor sharp mind.
My sister Sue said she would call for an ambulance then left to drive to Mum's house which was over an hour away. (My sister lives in Maidstone in Kent and my Mum in Hastings, Sussex.)
Sue got to her before the ambulance and Mum said she felt better. They had a couple of cigarettes on Mum's little terrace before the ambulance turned up and the paramedics examined her. They decided it'd be best for Mum to go into hospital and be checked over. Mum hated the NHS with a passion. She hadn't had any dealings with them since 1964 when she had problems during a pregnancy. She'd been taken to St Alfege's Hospital in Greenwich on Christmas Eve and was put in an open ward. The staff were at a Christmas party and were drunk, and my Mum gave birth to my baby brother, who died after an hour. She was all alone. When the day staff came on duty and found my Mum cradling her dead baby, all hell broke loose. My Mum was never the same after that.
So on that day in June 2020, because Mum was so anxious about having to go to hospital, Sue followed the ambulance to the Conquest hospital in Hastings and was made to wait in the car park for five hours (because of Covid restrictions) while they assessed Mum. By that time, my other sister Tracy and my brother Lee had arrived. They were eventually allowed in for five minutes. Afterwards, they told me on the phone that Mum looked a bit spaced out but put it down to the trauma of being in hospital.
At this time, I was trapped in Spain (where I was – and still am – living) due to a draconian lockdown. It was hellish not being able to fly back to be with my family but there were no flights out of the country so I couldn't get to them.
A scan revealed a small tear in Mum's heart. It was operable though, so the doctors said she would be transferred to another hospital for surgery.
After four hours waiting in the car park, they were called into the doctor's office. As they walked through the hospital, they noticed how quiet it was – all cordoned off, no one in A&E, empty wards, hardly any staff about… They were then told that Mum would not be operated on, saying she wouldn't make it through the surgery because she was dying.
This was a huge shock to us all. Mum had been walking and talking eight hours earlier. How could she be dying? When they suggested that Mum should be "made comfortable", we all agreed. I had no idea back then what that euphemism meant. I know now.
When my sisters and brother saw Mum, they could see she was heavily sedated: she couldn't speak or move and her eyes were closed. After a few minutes, they were asked by a nurse to leave. They noticed before they left, however, that there were three patients in a 30-bed ward.
Four hours later, my siblings were called back to the hospital. Mum had clearly deteriorated. Her skin was a strange translucent grey and her breathing was so shallow it was barely audible. My sister Sue fled the ward and sobbed in the corridor. Tracy lay on the bed with Mum, speaking softly to her. After ten minutes they were asked to leave again. They braced themselves for the 90-minute journey home. Then, just as they were leaving, the doctors said they wanted to move Mum to a care home. None of us wanted that – we'd heard that elderly people were dropping like flies in care homes – and Tracy threatened them with legal action if they dared to move her.
That night, Tracy was so upset she could barely speak so I called the hospital ward from Spain and demanded to know what drugs they were giving our mother. Because I wasn't named on Mum's medical notes, however, they refused to give me any information. I already knew about end of life drugs – Midazolam in particular – and wanted to make sure Mum wasn't being given them.
During the night, Tracy was phoned twice to ask if she wanted to come in to say goodbye. Tracy is physically disabled and can't drive and Sue and Lee were so traumatised by seeing Mum in such a terrible state the previous evening that they couldn't bear to go back to the hospital.
My Mum died alone at 6.55pm on the 12th June 2020.
I immediately put in a Freedom Of Information request and a request for a copy of the MAR (drug chart) because I knew something wasn't right. It took months of emails and phone calls but finally I got the documents I wanted. A five-page letter, sent to me and signed by the East Sussex Healthcare trust's Chief Executive Mrs. Joe Chadwick-Bell, provided the names of the doctors and nurses involved in my mother's care. The letter clearly set out how much Midalzolam and morphine was given – 25 milligrams in total – and at what times. It turned out that Mum, who'd never so much as taken an aspirin before, was given both drugs before they told my sisters and brother that she was not going to be operated on, then larger doses were given, and finally a syringe driver was fitted. The letter – written on 23rd September 2021, over 15 months after her death – and sent in October was extremely graphic and described my lovely Mum's final moments in horrifying detail. What happened to her can only be described as an execution. The letter said how she'd turned purple, gasped for breath and tried to escape. Of COURSE she'd tried to escape: she knew what they were doing to her! That sadistic letter felt like a deliberate twist of the knife and I believe it was designed to deliberately hurt me because I'd hounded them daily for months on end.
I made an official complaint to the hospital.
But it was the Conquest Hospital investigating the Conquest Hospital and the whole investigation was a sham. They lied at every turn. I was eventually told that the matter was closed and that, if I wanted to, I could appeal to the Ombudsman. I tried. They didn't reply. The whole thing has ripped my family apart. We barely talk now. Tracy has turned to drink as she feels so guilty for leaving Mum in the hospital. My brother has tried to take his own life three times in the last three years.
Although I was heartbroken that I couldn't be with Mum at the end of her life, in a way it's lucky I wasn't because I really don't now how I'd have reacted. If I'd been there, I'm sure I would be in a UK prison by now. I wish I could let it go but I can't: it consumes me. I was her eldest child… I'm the strong one, so I have to fight for her – and I will – but I have not had an unbroken night's sleep since 12th June 2020.
Imagining her final hours – thinking about how scared and alone she must have felt – haunts me. I read the nasty letter from Mrs. Joe Chadwick-Bell every now and again to revive my thirst for justice….
I've been told to leave it – that making a fuss won't bring Mum back – but I won't give up. My mum's story needs to be shared everywhere. This evil end of life directive – which I've since discovered was called NG163 and later re-named NG191 – is still alive and kicking, still being implemented and needs to be stopped. It's a protocol of murder. My mum was killed in cold blood in a hospital bed and nothing is being done about it.
I contacted Hastings police station as soon as I had confirmation that Midazolam and morphine had been given to Mum – that was in October 2021. They didn't want to know. In fact, they put the phone down on me the first time, so I rang back and was told in no uncertain terms that they really were very busy and that there was no evidence of any murder of the elderly by these drugs. GB News didnt reply. Talk Radio didnt reply. UK Column News didnt reply. Many other news outlets and TV stations too. Zero interest.
I believe the same has happened to thousands of others over the last few years and it will continue to happen until the families affected speak out or the perpetrators of this most heinous of crimes own up. I am currently trying to find a lawyer who'll take on my case. I'm determined to get justice for Mum if it's the last thing I do."
One of Ickonic's most-watched films 'A Good Death?' investigates several similar cases of euthanasia in NHS facilities in 2021/21. Watch it at Ickonic.com
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Comments 1
I am working my way through these horror stories and its all becoming clear now that this is actually deliberate. I am so sad to read about what happened to your Mum. My brother has started investigating my sister's death last year and reading all the experiences on here is helping me to understand what he has been telling me for months. He was right, they are murdering people.
What I don't understand is how they are getting away with it? Surely human rights prevents things like this happening? Is there nobody protecting people? I also see this is happening in America too as just read another story on here.
I hope you get somewhere with your mums case. Do you know if anyone has taken them on and won? I would publish that awful letter you mentioned regarding your mums ending to show the rest of us how cold and callous they are.